Life isn’t a given.

I started talking with my mom today about being a millennial and being surrounded by a generation of this gotta have it now attitude, this I deserve this, the participation award. The more I talked, the more I realized it’s not just a generational thing,

it’s an age – we are in the age of the participation award, from 8 – 58,

we feel like we are owed something,

we hunger for validation,

we thrive on the external.

Our internal connection has fallen wayward.

We work hard, yes, but we expect a prize at the end and if we don’t get one, there’s something wrong or something we need to fix, or screw it, we’ll move on to the next thing, something better, somewhere better.

We work hard, yes, but we need others to see it and it needs to be appreciated. If it’s not on social media, did it really happen?

We’re all guilty of it. It’s impossible to not once in a while get sucked into it because these ideals are forced into your life, broadcast across your newsfeed, in your stories, in your inbox. This person is doing that, this person has that, they can do this, they have all of that, if he is getting that I should have this, if she is doing that than I should be doing getting more, doing more, a never-ending stream of bullshit that you can compare yourself to.

What happened to appreciating what you have?

What happened to doing the hard work simply because life requires hard work sometimes? Why do we have to be first, or rather, why do we have to tell everyone we’re first. Why do we have to be a part of everything superficially instead of being invested in some things fullheartedly? What happened to us?

The conversation took a turn when I found out a former gym member and her daughter were murdered.

Let that sink in. Life completely ended in a moment.


This girl, this woman, Courtney, didn’t deserve to have her life ripped from her.

Her daughter didn’t deserve to live barely half a life.

I won’t pretend we had the best friendship and we stayed in touch. I don’t know much about her anymore.

But I do know, she was fierce and undeniably genuine, completely herself through and through. She loved her daughter, Londyn, more than anything. I know she loved working out and training hard. I know she loved Muay Thai and playing for the Denver Dream LFL. I know she took chances and pushed herself. I won’t pretend to know much more.

But I do know, she didn’t deserve this.

She’s not a social media post. She’s not a rumor or a news story. She’s not something to be speculated or gossiped about. Courtney isn’t just something to be posted across your tablet, iphone, or computer. She’s a life lost in an unfathomable way.

She was a mother,

a daughter,

a fighter,

a woman with a wide open heart and soul.

courtney post (1)


Take a look around you.

Take a look at yourself.

You should be so in love with what you have, so in love with your life,

because it is so very precious.

It is yours, yours to mold and change, to grow with and challenge. You have an amazing opportunity every single day you open your eyes.

Every single day is yours to create in your own vision.

You have people that love you, inspire you – tell them.

You can work hard every day towards something you are passionate about – do it because you simply can.

Put down your social media. Stop expecting a reward for everything you do. Get back to true connection with the world around you instead of through your apps and your posts. Choose happy, every single day. Choose to love, every single day.

Life isn’t a given and you are lucky to have the one you do.


Rest in peace, Courtney and Londyn.

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